Uneasy

There is a line from the Ghost Busters movie,

"Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria".

That is what is coming to mind right now.  For once, it is not about what is going on at home, its what's going on at work.  It is putting my mind on overdrive and my chest on "tighten it up" mode.  When a work place begins to do that to me, I start asking myself,

"Is this worth it"?

I know my mind has also been plagued with the thought of going back to school.  I start a week from Monday and the thought of what life is like right now, working 40 hours for the school corporation, part time at Menards, trying to be a good partner and a good mom and taking care of my sweet dog and 2 bitchy cats, I start to get dizzy and I ask myself,

"Can I do anymore"?

I will  start working every other weekend and may be able to find time at work to work on school work.  The one thing that I have realized is that it's not a good time to make changes.  I'm already adding something to my plate and a new, less stressful job would not be a good way to gain some more sanity.  As negative and stressful as it is, I know how to do it, and I can leave it at school when I go home.

As much anxiety as I have about starting school I know that I have to try before I decide that I can't do it.  At 46 I know that I need a change of scenery, something different possibly exciting, but just being something new can be exciting.

I'll be looking for motivation and courage this week to tackle the going-back-to-school piece.  I'll also try and be a better mom, partner, pet owner and I'll try and take better care of myself.  I'll say "No" more, and "Yes" to what my mind and body say I need.  It has to be about me for a minute now.  If it's not, then I won't go through with it.  Deep breath now.  AHHHHHH