rude awakening

Coming out of the roughest week in my life.  Work brought a new experience for me.  I came head to head with the 2 chiefs at work.  I'm a team player, I usually don't create waves.  I want to take care of the kids at Fairview, but I was asked to start a protocol that was way outside the scope of my professional responsibilities.  Luckily, I had the director of Health Services for MCCSC come advocate for me and that she did.  We won!

I started back to school this week for the first time in 23 years.  I have had little free time, little time to sleep, I have had to say no to drinks, pool swims, get-togethers, and cooking, cleaning and laundry.  There is so much to learn with taking online classes.  The communications class is fun and I am enjoying what I am learning, but the Anatomy and Physiolgy class is OVERWHELMING.  I finally took my first chapter test and first lab test after studying all week.

I had papers, power points, notes, lab supplies, printouts, just crazy.  And I didn't do that great on either one.  B material.  But I think I know what to expect  next time.

The house fairy had been at my house when I got home today after a long 52 hour work week.  Natalya had come and cleaned my house, did the laundry, cleaned the bathroom, bought groceries, bought me a new coffee maker, and left me a Kroger gift card to buy some good wine.  Better than all of that, she left me the nicest card that said she wanted to help me the way I've always helped her.  It was so nice.  But shortly afterwards I had a meltdown because the test I was taking disappeared off the screen I was working on.

The rest of this weekend, I'm going to relax. enjoy the lake, my friends, my daughter, my bed, my tv and some good drinks.  I'll start over next week, being more familiar with the technology and the expectations, and hopefully be better prepared.  I know I can do this, I just want to be able to do it well.

Crying wolf or crying for help

How do you know the difference between crying wolf and crying for help with teenagers. Even better, spoiled teenagers. Manipulation has been her MO, using medical terminology to describe her sickness is her warped gift. She doesn't get her way, she freaks out, she has created these problems and now they are too big and out of control to fix. Back at meadows and this is the 4th time in two years. Will this time be different? It better be. I feel like a volcano!

Uneasy

There is a line from the Ghost Busters movie,

"Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria".

That is what is coming to mind right now.  For once, it is not about what is going on at home, its what's going on at work.  It is putting my mind on overdrive and my chest on "tighten it up" mode.  When a work place begins to do that to me, I start asking myself,

"Is this worth it"?

I know my mind has also been plagued with the thought of going back to school.  I start a week from Monday and the thought of what life is like right now, working 40 hours for the school corporation, part time at Menards, trying to be a good partner and a good mom and taking care of my sweet dog and 2 bitchy cats, I start to get dizzy and I ask myself,

"Can I do anymore"?

I will  start working every other weekend and may be able to find time at work to work on school work.  The one thing that I have realized is that it's not a good time to make changes.  I'm already adding something to my plate and a new, less stressful job would not be a good way to gain some more sanity.  As negative and stressful as it is, I know how to do it, and I can leave it at school when I go home.

As much anxiety as I have about starting school I know that I have to try before I decide that I can't do it.  At 46 I know that I need a change of scenery, something different possibly exciting, but just being something new can be exciting.

I'll be looking for motivation and courage this week to tackle the going-back-to-school piece.  I'll also try and be a better mom, partner, pet owner and I'll try and take better care of myself.  I'll say "No" more, and "Yes" to what my mind and body say I need.  It has to be about me for a minute now.  If it's not, then I won't go through with it.  Deep breath now.  AHHHHHH

H2o therapy

The most stressful 8 first days to the start of school ever. Finally, the sun came out today and I knew I had to get the lake. 

The boat is a mess, a friend borrowed it, but I'm on the water, my diaphragm is opening and I'm breathing better. Copper is here with me. He doesn't want anything but to be close to me. He's so easy to please. 

This will have to carry me through the next 2 days until I can get another change of scenery and relax again. I'm lucky to have this old boat. It brings me a lot of peace and serenity. I'm lucky to live near the lake. It's a true gift. 

Korean bulgogi

Ten years ago I was introduced to Korean bulgogi by a good friend who spent a couple of years in Korea. Bulgogi is beef or pork covered in a spicy sauce made up of chili pepper paste, soy sauce, sesame oil and sugar. You eat it on a leaf of red leaf lettuce over rice. It quickly became my families favorite meal! 

I recently introduced this dish to my friends at my children's birthday this year.  They went crazy for it!  They ate every bit of it that I made.  

Tonight I made Bulgogi again. Hayden said it was the best food ever and he liked it better than anythingbelse he has eaten. It has been Nadia's favorite since the first time I made it. 

I am a pretty good cook, but I only like cooking for people who can appreciate good cooking. It takes a lot of time and it never tastes as good as when someone else makes it. But I will always cook for anyone who loves some Korean bulgogi !

Bulgogi is spicy, but Henry loves it. He is pretending here like it is too spicy but all the kids eat it like crazy!  I love Korean bulgogi and anyone else who likes to eat it. 

A Red Letter Day!

Some days just stand out more than others.  Today was one of them.  Nadia and I spent the entire afternoon together shopping, running errands, and driving around together with her at the wheel.  We had a few scary moments in the car, but the shopping went a lot better than expected.

Typically I refuse to shop with her.  I will pay her brother or sister to take her and get her what she needs.  But we have not been getting along and my motherly guilt was taking over.  I was going to make the sacrifice.

We shopped for school supplies, shoes, shoes, shoes, and more school supplies.  There was no whining, no complaining, lots of talking, and laughing.  It was an easy day.

I will remember this day for a while.  It will probably have to carry me through the next 5-10 days when she goes back to her "normal" self.  But for now, I am so happy that we were able to enjoy a day together.  It was really nice.

Mangled fingers

Last week on Sunday I got the fingers on both hands stuck in between the panels of a garage door. Both hands were being squished by the weight of a double garage door that was on its way down. My fingers abruptly stopped the downward descent. After struggling for a minute to get my hands loose, I finally wedged my foot under the garage door and lifted it enough to create some space to release my fingers. I have never felt pain like that in my entire life!  When I finally got my fingers out they were already purple and foreign looking because they were smashed as flat as a pancake! They looked so freaky!! I immediately ran into the house and ran cold water over them. Tears were streaming down my face. Someone grabbed me an ice bag, and another grabbed me ibuprofen. This is what they looked like after 2 hours. 

They were numb all evening. Over the next couple of days the tips, underneath the nails, kept filling with blood. 

Pressure in my ring finger kept growing!  Ouch! I thought my nail would pop. My friend who is a nurse said to get a tiny hole drilled thru the nail to relieve the pressure and some of the blood. My insurance wasn't going to cover that! My friend, Roy, said his dad use to slide a knife in between the nail and the tip of the finger to lance it and let the blood drain out. He ran to his art closet to get me a razor knife. I didn't know if I could actually do it. I sterilized the knife and gently ran it under my nail. WHAM! Blood spurted out! It worked! And it was free health care!!! 

I soaked it on Epsom salt when I got home. It's looking and feeling a lot better!

 

I will probably still lose 3 fingernails. But at least I'm on the mend!